Addiction Coaching
What is addiction?
Addiction is not simply about bad choices or weak willpower. It is a pattern of behaviour driven by an overwhelming need to escape, soothe, or survive. At its core, addiction is a deeply human response to pain, disconnection, or unmet emotional needs. It’s a relationship—often with a substance, activity, or even a person—that begins as a source of relief but evolves into something that controls us.
People can be addicted to drugs or alcohol, but also to work, food, gambling, sex, shopping, social media, and more. What they have in common is not the object of addiction, but the inner experience: a powerful craving, temporary relief or pleasure, followed by consequences—and a struggle to stop despite knowing those consequences.
Addiction usually starts as a coping mechanism. It may help someone deal with stress, numb overwhelming emotions, or create a temporary sense of control. Over time, though, the relief becomes fleeting, while the cost—physically, emotionally, socially—keeps growing. And still, the cycle continues.
Addiction in daily life
Addiction isn’t just something that happens “out there.” It lives quietly in everyday routines, often unnoticed. It shows up in the parent who needs wine to unwind, the teen lost in hours of gaming, the high achiever who can’t stop working, or the friend who can’t look away from their phone.
These patterns don’t make someone weak or broken. They’re usually just ways of coping—of trying to feel better, to escape stress, to fill an emptiness, to get through the day. Sometimes, what starts as comfort becomes a habit we can’t quite let go of, even when it starts to hurt.
We all have something. And naming it isn't about shame—it's about understanding ourselves with more honesty and kindness.
Addiction is more common than we think. And the more we see it without judgment, the more space we create for healing.
IFS & Addiction
Addiction is often seen as a destructive force—but within the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, it's understood as a protective adaptation. IFS offers a compassionate and non-pathologizing view: addiction is not the core of who we are, but rather the strategy of an inner “part” doing its best to help us survive emotional pain.
In IFS, the mind is made up of multiple parts—inner sub-personalities that take on different roles. Some carry wounds from the past; others try to manage, suppress, or protect us from those wounds. These include:
Exiles – vulnerable parts that carry feelings of shame, fear, loneliness, or unworthiness, often rooted in early trauma or unmet emotional needs.
Managers – proactive parts that try to keep us safe and in control, often by striving, pleasing, or criticizing.
Firefighters – reactive parts that jump in when exiles get triggered, often using impulsive or addictive behaviors to numb, distract, or escape the pain.
From this perspective, addiction is the work of a firefighter part—one that’s not trying to destroy us, but to protect us from overwhelming emotional distress. It’s a survival mechanism, not a moral failure.
Rather than asking, “What’s wrong with me?” IFS invites the question, “What is this part trying to protect me from?”
This shift opens the door to self-compassion—and to real, lasting healing.
Healing with IFS
So, if addiction is a protective strategy, then healing it begins not with force or willpower—but with curiosity, connection, and compassion.
In IFS, we don’t try to eliminate the part of us that uses substances, food, sex, or other compulsions. Instead, we become curious about it.
IFS doesn’t ask us to fight ourselves. It invites us to build inner trust. Healing addiction is not about controlling impulses or erasing behaviors—it’s about creating a compassionate relationship with every part of us, especially the ones that have been rejected, misunderstood, or overwhelmed.
Over time, as our internal system becomes more connected and less reactive, we experience a new kind of freedom—not just from addiction, but from the inner fragmentation that fueled it.
Healing doesn’t come from exile or shame—it comes from understanding and integration.
With IFS, we don’t try to get rid of addiction; we learn what it has been trying to protect, and offer those parts the connection they’ve always needed.
Addiction Coaching with IFS
Addiction often keeps us trapped in repeating cycles—seeking relief through behaviors that, over time, create pain, isolation, and a loss of connection with ourselves.
Using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, coaching offers a unique and compassionate approach to breaking these cycles. IFS helps you understand the different “parts” inside you—the protective parts that drive addictive behaviors, and the vulnerable parts they’re trying to shield. This understanding is the key to healing from the inside out.
Reaching out for support can feel overwhelming, especially when shame or fear get in the way. But addiction is not a personal failure—it’s a sign that parts of you need care and attention.
Through IFS-informed coaching, you learn to listen to your inner system with kindness, build trust between your parts, and reconnect with your core Self—the calm, wise center that guides healing and transformation.
Taking this step is more than just stopping a behavior—it’s about rediscovering who you truly are and creating space for lasting change.
The Details
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60-75 min session - €85
12 week coaching package - €850
I believe mental health support should be accessible for everyone, regardless of class or income. For this reason I offer discounts for people with a low income.
I offer a free 30 minute session to get to know each other.
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Sessions are held online via Zoom.
The possibility to meet in person in Berlin is available on request.
